Choosing Me

We often find ourselves dwelling in the past, rethinking what we should or shouldn't have done, what we should have said or done. We are re-experiencing our past in order to adjust it or fix it in some way. No matter how much we rethink it, we seem to not be satisfied and so we keep bringing it into Now and try to resolve it.

So what is it about us humans that we so easily get stuck in the same loop of thinking and doing things? Why is change so difficult for us and why are we so attached to our unresolved past?

In spiritual terms, it is called the Human condition, we get so preoccupied with our past, our hurts, our disappointments, the unfairness we received and we recreate more of what we don't want, in order to understand ourselves.

We repeat the same thoughts in our minds over and over until it becomes us, we become sad, unwell, unhappy, seeing life as difficult and unfair.

We start bringing more of this into our lives, choosing sad films, meeting disappointed people, separating ourselves from others as if we were injured in some ways. The truth is we are injured, we are separating ourselves not just from the outer world, we are truly separating from ourselves.

In every moment of disappointment, of hurt, of unfairness, we forget about ourselves, as if we don't matter, as if we are nobody. If we don't feel that others appreciated us and treated us well, we don't appreciate and treat ourselves well too. If we don't feel we are loved we don't love ourselves.

We are conditioned from the very moment we are born, we learn to receive love by doing something right, we feel good about ourselves when the family tells us we are great, we feel happy and secure when our parents create that for us. And while this is needed in our childhood, somehow we are never taught to love ourselves. Our seeking for approval is the fundamental reason for our own unhappiness, for our own unhappiness and misery.

Our healing doesn't start by trying to fix the world, it starts with us, that is true healing. If we choose to love ourselves the love will be reflected back to us, if we chose to appreciate ourselves at moments when others try to put us down, we will not be affected by them. It takes practice and promise to yourself to always come back to you, but as any habit the more we do it the better we get at it. Choosing Me is the most loving act you can do for yourself.

Will you be choosing You?